dave chappelle quotes
 
Looking for Dave Chappelle quotes? You’ve found them! Dave Chappelle is one of the funniest comedians that ever lived. His brand of comedy is pretty much satirical, and he literally leaves no stone un-turned. He touches on all kinds of topics ranging from religion, politics, sexual orientation, poverty, you name it, he’s told jokes about it. He’s offended many people in the past with his style of comedy, but he’s still adored by millions all over the world.
 

Best Dave Chappelle Quotes

“What did the 5 fingers say to the face. S L A P!”
— Dave Chappelle
 
“Hey, baby! Stop selling weed, all right, you’ve got your whole life ahead of you.” He goes, “F**k you, n***a. I got kids to feed!”
— Dave Chappelle
 
“The hardest thing to do is to be true to yourself, especially when everybody is watching.”
— Dave Chappelle
 
Wow. … That’s a good question. … Is `I don’t know’ an acceptable answer?
— Dave Chappelle
 
“You know, be able to do something great in your life, you’re gonna have to realize your failures. You’re gonna have to embrace them and figure out how to overcome it.”
— Dave Chappelle
 

“I always take a relationship to the next level. If that works out, I take it to the next level after that, until I finally reach that level when it becomes absolutely necessary for me to leave.”
— Dave Chappelle
 
“You can’t get un-famous. You can get infamous, but you can’t get un-famous.”
— Dave Chappelle
 

“The worst thing to call somebody is crazy. It’s dismissive.”
— Dave Chappelle
 

“Things like racism are institutionalized. You might not know any bigots. You feel like “well I don’t hate black people so I’m not a racist,” but you benefit from racism. Just by the merit, the color of your skin. The opportunities that you have, you’re privileged in ways that you might not even realize because you haven’t been deprived of certain things. We need to talk about these things in order for them to change.”
— Dave Chappelle
 

Rick James Quotes Dave Chapelle

 
Dave Chapelle’s portrayal of Rick James was renown on the “Chapelle Show”. It made him rise to major celebrity status portraying that character. From that character a few quotes also became extremely popular. We’ve highlighted a few of the more popular ones below.
 
“I’m sorry, Charlie Murphy, it was an accident. I was having too much fun. I offer you a truce. The stickiest of the icky. You want to smoke with the old boy Rick James?”, spoken by Chappelle as James trying to make peace with Murphy after a fight.
— Dave Chapelle
 
“What am I gonna do about my legs Charlie Murphy”
— Dave Chapelle
 
“Now that you mention it, I think I’m bleeding inside my chest. But I got the medicine. B***h! Come over here and have sex with Charlie Murphy.”, spoken by Chappelle as James in an effort to commiserate with Murphy and salvage their friendship through sexual intercourse with groupies.
— Dave Chapelle
 
“Cocaine is a hell of a drug.”
— Dave Chapelle
 
“I don’t want anything bad to happen to the United States, but if North Korea ever drops a nuclear bomb on this country, I swear to God I hope it lands in Hartford, Connecticut.”
— Dave Chappelle
 

“I’m cool with failing so long as I know that there are people around me that love me unconditionally.”
— Dave Chappelle
 

“The world can’t tell you who you are. You’ve just got to figure out who you are and be there, for better or worse.”
— Dave Chappelle
 
The mark of greatness is when everything before you is obsolete, and everything after you bears your mark.
— Dave Chappelle
 
“You got to be careful of the company you keep.”
— Dave Chappelle
 

“My father told me ‘Name your price in the beginning. If it ever gets more expensive than the price you name, get out of there.’”
— Dave Chappelle
 

Dave Chapelle Tyrone Biggums Quotes

 
Another character that Dave Chapelle performed on “Chapelle Show” was that of “Tyrone Biggums”. In the skit, he basically portrayed being a crackhead, and it led to lots of laughs with his audience. We’ve highlighted a few of the more popular quotes from Dave playing that character below.
 
Remember what the Bible says: He who is without sin, cast the first rock. And I shall smoketh it.
— Dave Chapelle (Tyronne Biggums)
 
“You know, Joe Rogan, this is not the first time I’ve tasted penis. I’ve had several. In my line of work, you taste penises all the time.”
— Dave Chapelle (Tyronne Biggums)
 
New white people, you can’t scare these white people, I tried.
— Dave Chappelle
 
“I felt in a lot of instances I was deliberately being put through stress because when you’re a guy who generates money, people have a vested interested in controlling you.”
— Dave Chappelle
 

“You know you must be doing something right if old people like you.”
— Dave Chappelle
 
“The mark of greatness is when everything before you is obsolete, and everything after you bears your mark.”
— Dave Chappelle
 

“Hey hey hey, smoke weed everyday”
— Dave Chappelle
 

“Ralph Nader has slavery reparations on his platform, which makes me think he’s not serious. If he thought he could win he wouldn’t even say that.”
— Dave Chappelle
 

“I’ve done 10 or 11 pilots for network television, which is ridiculous.”
— Dave Chappelle
 

“If you don’t have the right people around you and you’re moving at a million miles an hour you can lose yourself.”
— Dave Chappelle
 

“Stand-up is the kind of gig that’ll show you where you’re at.”
— Dave Chappelle
 

“Being famous is great, it’s not like bad or horrible or anything.”
— Dave Chappelle
 
Why don’t you click your heels three times and go back to Africa.
— Dave Chappelle
 

“I think extreme sports are really good for relieving stress.”
— Dave Chappelle
 

“I think every group of black guys should have at least one white guy in it.”
— Dave Chappelle

 
“People don’t know what it’s like standing up there onstage, when you have a wall of people smiling at you.”
— Dave Chappelle
 

“You’ve got to say ‘yes’ to your destiny. Life’s happening right now, look around you. There goes some life. Come on, Mamma, live!”
— Dave Chappelle
 

“Everyone around me says, You’re a genius! You’re great! That’s your voice! But I’m not sure if they’re right.”
— Dave Chappelle
 

I turned on Sesame Street. And I was, like: “Oh, good. Sesame Street. This is much better cause now he’ll learn how to count and spell.” But now I’m watching it as an adult and I realize that Sesame Street teaches kids other things. It teaches kids how to judge people. And label people. That’s right. They got this one character named Oscar. They treat this guy like shit the entire show. They judge him right to his face. “Oscar, you are so mean. Isn’t he, kids?” “Yeah. Oscar, you’re a grouch!” He’s, like, “I live in a trash can! I’m the poorest on Sesame Street. Nobody’s help in’ me.” Now you wonder why your kids grow up and step over homeless people, “Get it together, grouch. Get a job, grouch.” So don’t even tell me how to get to Sesame Street, that is a terrible place. I wouldn’t go there if I knew the way.
— Dave Chappelle
 
“Money is the fuel for choices. Money gives me choices, so it’s not nothing, it’s something,” he continued. “But it’s not the end all, be all. There are other things in my life that I did not purchase with money that are very valuable.”
— Dave Chappelle

 
“There are not too many people that don’t think I’m crazy, for walking away from so much money,” he said. “I’m at a restaurant with my wife, it’s a nice restaurant, we’re eating dinner. I look across the room, I say, “You see this guy over here, across the room? He has $100 million.” And we’re eating the same entree. So, OK, fine, I don’t have $50 million or whatever it was, but say I have $10 million in the bank. The difference in lifestyle is minuscule.”
— Dave Chappelle
 

“Dave! Relax! Close your buttcheeks!”
— Dave Chappelle
 
“I enjoy my own thoughts sometimes.”
— Dave Chappelle
 

“After a while, a joke, if you say it too much, just becomes contrived, or fake-sounding.”
— Dave Chappelle
 
“The only way you can know where the line is, is if you cross it.”
— Dave Chappelle
 
Somebody broke into my house once, this is a good time to call the police, but mm mm, nope. The house was too nice. It was a real nice house, but they’d never believe i lived in it. They’d be like ‘He’s still here!
— Dave Chappelle
 

Dave Chappelle Comedy Specials

 
For more quotes and jokes from Dave Chappelle, I would highly recommend you checkout his Netflix special. It’s not for the “faint of heart”. He unleashed a fury, talking about anything that comes to his mind. It’s a no holds barred approach to comedy, where nothing is off the table. If that’s your style of comedy, and I’m guessing it is since you’re looking up Dave Chappelle quotes, then check out his specials, get your notepad ready as he’ll have lots of quotes for you to use!